THE YALE GROUP: SETTLING DOWN
Settling Down, Thirty-two to Thirty-nine: During this period a man generally makes deeper commitments to his work and his family. He “joins the tribe,” as the Yale group puts it. One keynote of this period is order: building a nest and working for security. Another keynote is “making it”: moving upward according to an inner timetable about the age when certain goals should be reached. By forty, for example, the executive wants to be earning fifty thousand dollars; the assistant professor desires tenure; and the professional man aims at becoming a senior partner.
One of the most pernicious myths about adulthood is the notion that once a man has established a stable life pattern, it can continue more or less indefinitely—without any major problems ahead. This is simply not true, say the Yale group. No matter how satisfying the life structure created during this period, it cannot possibly fulfill all of the self—and must therefore be enlarged, or radically changed, later.
Another reason for future change is that this structure is inevitably based partly on illusions about the importance of work goals, relationships to others, and what a man truly wants in life. And later on, letting go of these illusions will be vital for further growth.
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