PREVENTION OF LONELINESS
• As we saw above, the prevention of loneliness begins in the cradle by encouraging babies to be part of everything going on in the home. In this way a baby learns that life is full of interesting inputs and that boredom is unnecessary.
• Older children should be brought up to understand that they can’t always have parents or other adults around to play with them-sometimes they must be able to entertain themselves for short periods. In this way children are brought up with reasonable expectations of the reality of adult life in which there will be periods of being alone which have to be coped with.
Make a virtue of loneliness. Many people say that once they have come to terms with loneliness they can also enjoy it-if only for the freedom it gives them. The secret of managing loneliness in adulthood is to cultivate the right attitude of mind to it. There are positive benefits to being alone and there are ways of reducing the amount of time you have to be alone if you don’t want to be.
• Take the opportunity to get to know yourself better. If necessary get professional help from a doctor or counselor. By understanding yourself better you will be in a position to do something about your loneliness.
• Many lonely people are shy or have poorly-developed social skills. There are good books about these subjects and social-skills training groups are now widely available. At one extreme end of the spectrum are those who say that they prefer their pets to human beings. Such individuals probably need professional help. Pets are undoubtedly a boon to the lonely but to want to be with them to the exclusion of humans, as some seem to, is not normal and could point to underlying personality or psychological problems-which could benefit from treatment.
• One US expert on loneliness finds that talking to oneself is helpful. Saying things aloud is a form of tension release, he claims. Other experts find that a diary is a good form of self-communication. In it you should record not only what happened that day but your daydreams and fantasies.
• Once you have insights into what you are like and what you want from life you can start to look outwards for things to do that will combat your loneliness. For many doing something for someone else works best. Helping an elderly or handicapped person or running something in the community such as a toddler group, or doing voluntary work at the local hospital, can work wonders for the unhappy, lonely person. If you want company yet find it difficult to meet people you get on with, try an evening class. At least all the people there will have one thing in common with you-the subject matter of the class.
• Be grateful for what you’ve got-think of those who have far less and then try to relax and enjoy what you have.
• If you are lonely within a marriage or other close relationship and are unhappy about it seek professional help.
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